LEAVING JORDAN: saying bye to all my dear friends

Dear Jordan,

When I came here three months ago I was a serious and determined student with lots of plans in my mind. Thanks for destroying them all.

Dear Jordan,

When I came here, three months ago, I was a very punctual North Italian girl, with a fixed schedule for every day of my life. Thanks for messing everything up.

Dear Jordan, 

When I came here, three months ago, I was searching for the most "efficient" way to lead my research. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to start again from the beginning and to let me throw all the ideas in the garbage.

Dear Jordan, 

When I came here, three months ago, I was a very early person. Going to sleep at 11 pm maximum and waking up at 8.

Thanks for transforming me into a night animal.

Dear Jordan, 

When I came here, three months ago, I expected to have lot of time to read, study, put forward with my Master thesis. Thanks for stealing all my time, to put me in the vortex of Middle East vibes and to let me looking at my books on the bedside table in such a suspicious way.

Dear Jordan,

Today I took my diary and I realized that only it knows what these three months has been.

I wrote everything in a very messy way, with pens from different colours. I pasted tickets, pictures, tears and smiles on it.

And today, when I went through its pages, I even realized how many things I did that I already forgot.

Especially, I realized how Jordan changed me.

It is true that every day was an adventure, something not planned, something on the way, something happen by chance.

Everything happen by chance, here. Especially the best things. 

Things happen when you are searching for something else.

I meet lots of people in this country and I am writing to you all more then to myself.

I would like to thank you all for the richness of feelings and for the amazing adventures we lived together.

Because the most important thing I will bring home is this: the richness of our meetings.

(Btw, this is even what will make me crying a lot before my departure).

Mubarak, Moawia, Gassm, Faisal, Ricky, Mindi, Solo, Shihab, Mario, Bushara, Mustafa, Tiger, Mandela, Dudu, Mohammad, Mubarak, Munir and all the others guys from the Sudanese community that I may unintentionally forget: thanks thanks thanks for opening the doors of your houses, for sharing with me your thoughts, for accepting to speak a little bit about your lives. Especially, thanks for trusting me, for accepting my irruption in your daily life, for welcoming me in such a easy and quick way. Everything contributed to make my research easier and deeper. Thanks for being my friends.

Tariq, for me you have been a friend, a brother and sometimes even a father. Thanks for helping me in everything I needed, thanks for making my stay in Jordan as much comfortable as you could. Thanks for spoiling me with all the "booza need" in the middle of the night, thanks for all the trips, for all the tea in the late night, for all the "Lasciatemi cantare" songs.

Madiha, Anud, Aiman, Ahlam, Faris, Hassan and all the relatives I met: thanks for being my family. I would never thanks you enough for how warm, crazy and alive you let me felt. Thanks for all the Maqluba, for all the Palestinians dances, for all the Dabke, the shisha, the nuts we shared. Thanks for offering me your house, for being the safe, warm, natural, informal place where I could always go when I was homesick and in need of "family vibes".

Thanks to my expats friends, especially Italians ones, who accepted to listen my crazy stories for hours without letting me feeling mad - even if you might thought that I am ;-).

Thanks Matteo for laughing with me, "sti cazzi", thanks Cecilia because this experience will never start without your concrete approach to the work and to the life in general: you have made my life so easy here, my experience so comfortable. I will never be grateful enough.

Hana, more then a teacher: thanks to be so closed to me. You have been the best friend I need to find in Jordan. Thanks for all the improbable conversations in my improbable Arabic.

And more, Herzella among all the Mohammad, Anas with Susi, Ramman, Zoe, Sarah, Yazan, Firas, Sukaina, Silvia, Arianna.

And thanks Hassan, left at the end according to your bad timing, for let me understand that the most important thing is to be happy, despite everything.

I am trying to remember the first meeting with all of you: I am not a religious or mystical person and I due believe in chance, occasions, accidents, occurrences more then destiny.

But somehow, surrounded by this Jordan atmosphere, I realized that all my "wasta" - my connection - happens for a purpose.

I don't know if God, Allah or someone else planned all this for me, but I feel just to say thanks to him, whoever it is.

And thanks to this country, to its magic, to the crazy people, to the conservative and to the open minded, to the women that I never met, to the noisy taxi drivers. Thanks to the shining sun, to the heavy mansaf, to the prayer call and its atmosphere.

Thanks to Amman, which host me so warmly as if in my blood vessel is flowing Arab blood, as if I am your daughter.

Shukran Amman, shukran Jordan. 

I am gonna miss you ❤️